'Fight or Flight' response

Mr R (age 17) is a junior in high school. We are at the point of working in conjunction with several Work Service programs as part of his Transitional Services. Overall, Mr R is doing fairly well in school in the last 2 years....before that...many, many issues. The one we can't seem to 'punch through'....his Fight or Flight response to stressors.

His dx includes Aspergers, Tourette Syndrome and Severe Anxiety. His typical response to anxiety or pressure now days....total disrespect and foul language. On the positive side....its rare he bolts! Many, many days I spent chasing this kiddo....glad I had some track and field background to help with this. It's been about 5 months since he last took off on me.......and that was thankfully out back in the fields. Living on a 40 acre farm has its advantages...lots of room to get rid of stress.

Recently at school when he becomes 'overloaded' or stressed...he mouths off at teachers and his para. Horribly. Cussing is something that is rare in our house....I cannot say it never happens...but we DO have rules! In our home quiet and calm is the norm....for Mr M (younger bro) seems to need this atmosphere. Mr R has anger issues. His anger response is off the wall comments, cussing, threatening remarks....and sometimes throwing things. At school...his recent behaviors are more verbal...and we have not found a way for him to come up with other solutions to deal with his stress. My concern is....we are about to enter the workforce phase....how is this going to fly with ANY employer. Yes, he will have a job coach and any job he gets will most likely be through disability employment services. He cannot take redirection...he gets extremely angry when asked to do 'more' or anything that he feels is done.

Part of his 'coping' skill at the moment is not only verbally lashing out....but also to put his head down and fall asleep. We cannot 'process' anything for at least 2 days to let things die down......or it will immediately explode...again.

Mr R also has a fairly significant 'delay' in his response time....meaning he takes a few extra seconds to respond be it verbally or physically. At school, we've told them over and over again to give him that 'time lapse'....and NOT to push. Not being there at school I cannot say if this is part of what is going wrong recently....or if its just a overall 'school work' thing where he is feeling that the work is stressing him. He DOES say that his para and the teacher (sp.ed coordinator) PUSH. But I too have 'waited'....and some of it seems that he's defying a direction even here at home.

He has consequences to face today for another incident on Friday at school. Am hoping he does well with this (detention). Last time he admitted he was wrong, apologized and took noon detention. Not feeling confident today....I'm not sure why.

I guess I'm trying to figure out if there are direct methods of teaching other coping skills to deal with redirection, stress....even critical opinions. We've given 'tools' for him to use....but in the heat of the moment...he still is not able to grasp the concept.

In contrast to Mr R's response.....Mr M (14 HFA) cries....and often curls up in a ball. Just recently....he has begun to throw things and get mouthy. Ahhh...in a way....isn't some of this typical teen garbage??? LOL! *thrilled with that thought*

Long week coming...I've got my boxing gloves on too!

~DES~