Life in Rewind...but catching up!

Hey all!

Haven't completely fallen off the earth....just needed some time to get through some difficult things in life. It's been awhile since I've been here, but hope to get back to normal soon. (yea...normal is a stranger to me, anyway!)

Lots of things have happened since January (last post)....my eldest son moved in with us so that he could get HIS life straightened out. Oh boy...that didn't go so well. But a parent is a parent...no matter what age they are, you try to give them all the help you can and still let them steer their own course. *shrugs* As of June, he only pops in and out now...which has left us with great sighs of relief. Tough love is not easy....but closure is necessary.

In June, Mr R graduated (hears a chorus of something singing!) YAY! He's still working at the grocery store and doing well. He's looking to move on from there, but we still don't have his license (which kind keeps where he can work, limited). Our problem is we don't have a car he can drive to get the license (we all drive sticks...he can't manage it!). Hoping this fall will bring some solutions to that problem. In the interm....he's doing well and happy NOT to be going to school this September. His plan is to work a bit in different fields to see what he really wants to do before checking out Tech schools etc. Wise plan in my book....too many jump into college with no knowledge of what they actually want to study. Hmmm...he's a planner like moi? LOL!

June through August...life kicked into home repair mode. Homeowner insurance decided we needed to get things 'fixed up' at the ole farm. Ehm! So we did what other with old farms do....we did it ourselves. At our age....this was a real task. Roofing, painting, and new deck railings....oh ouch (my aching bones). NOT recommended for us middle age folks...but its done! Looks great!

Back in March....my dearest love (been together for about 8 years now) asked me to marry him! We decided it was time.....and wanted to make sure the kiddos wouldn't lose any of their services (waivers, pca etc)....and got the go ahead. Only insurance will change is mine. Soooooo....wedding plans went underway. DIY style! (huge task) We always wanted to get married at the Renaissance Festival (which is kinda how we met) but didn't want the kids to have to endure the issues of the 'rules' of the one here. We decided to do a Medieval/Renaissance wedding here at the house. From costumes, food , decor and officiant....plans were furiously being made.

August 16, 2008, the King and I married. What a beautiful day....what precious memories we will have forever.

And so...with September around the corner. ONE child returning to school (my sophomore, Mr M). My job will begin picking up pace (all hail the influx of Halloween cards and crap)...and preparing for the pre-Christmas set ups.

Alot of staffing changes coming for Mr M.....some of which may be very difficult for him. We've been extremely lucky with all our Autism services....but we all know at some point staff may decide to leave for bigger/better pastures. We are grateful for the time they give our family and wish them all the best. Our challenge is coming....adjusting him to new ppl and rebuilding the 'trust' he had with his old staff. School is starting as well....new teachers, old 'nasty' bullies, new friends.....and new topics of study. *takes a deep breath* BUT....I will only have ONE IEP to deal with from now on (ohhhhhh doing the happy dance on that account)!!!!!

Anyway...will try to keep up with blogging. I miss reading everyone's news...and hope to catch up soon.

Till then,

DES

Not quite back yet...

Nope...haven't completely left the blogging world...just juggling a few new things in life. After the back issues in August, I've been busy seeking new employment that doesn't involve lifting 100-200 lb ppl every day (nursing field). I found a new job at the beginning of December for a major Card/gift wrap retailer....very major company. I'm the retail merchandiser for a local store for this company...and am LOVING the change. Not only do the hours work for me (and the boys schedule) but I'm covered in 'glitter' versus other things *grin*.

Life is moving in fast fwd....not sure where the entire month of December went. Guess that's good...one less month of winter to get through *thinking positive aren't we* What did happen in December?

New job, new grandchild (girl...4 lbs 11oz) to go along with the other 2 grandaughters! (how many princess's does that make, btw ; ) Eldest is deep into issues....helping him stay focused so that he can get this mess straightened out (soon hopefully). My two Princes at home....Mr R is still learning to drive....and working his job at the local market. He also made A honor roll first quarter (whether or not the school allows kids with IEP's to be on it..PPPFTT). A 3.58 grade average is NOTHING to ignore *trout slaps for some schools*. Mr M is busy with his latest obsessions...Insaniquarium for PC, his new DS lite and driving Mom insane with his 'need to have a plan' ways. His IEP came up before Christmas....I sent it back 'denied'....I am done playing! *steam*

Learning to time manage here with the job, kids appts and social schedules. I'm loving it all...and am not complaining about much lately. I don't have time to post alot....but that will all fall into place (as the holiday rush slows). Valentine's stuff is my latest product...OH boy the GLITTER! LOL!

Anyway....am hoping to find a bit more time for keeping up with everyone. Thank you for your kind comments and emails.

As always...

DES

Anxiety by Proxy?

Just a quickie today....it's beautiful outside and I need to get out and enjoy it (before the weather changes, again)!

Yesterday we took another small step forward with Mr R....I pulled him out of school early to go and take his Written test to get his Learners permit. This whole thing has been a long, slow but very calculated process for us. I have GREAT concerns about him driving.....but as with all things with our kids...we have to let them try. My greatest concerns for him are:

His attention/delayed response level
His low-resting muscle tone/ motor skills
Anger/anxiety issues

Some of these I headed off at the pass by getting some professional assessments done through http://www.courage.org/. They have a wonderful Driver Assessment and Training program available. They did an initial test of his motor speeds, attention level, and memory skills. He PASSED these with no problem. This summer I signed him up for the Drivers Ed class....through a local company. He took the classroom part...and finished just as school started. Since then....I've been trying to fit in the trip to the DMV to get the written test done so he can get his Provisional license (Learners).

Guess what....HE PASSED it yesterday.

I was a wreck. He seemed quiet before the test...but not as nervous as I. Crazy how we get, isn't it? I left him in the room and waited in the hallway (huge glass windows so I could see when he finished). Thoughts racing through my mind went from...I wonder how many you can get wrong and still pass... to how am I going to convince him to TRY again when he fails? All my anxious thoughts came to a head as I saw him approach the testing desk with the completed paper in hand. I swear I heard SWEAT coming out my pores. Mr R was pale...and watched the CRABBY test administrator start circling in red wrong answers. I felt woozy...Mr R's eyes were beginning to close....as if to brace himself for the WORD.

So the tester began shuffling papers...looking at his proof of identity, getting out a three carbon slip....blah blah blah. I broke!

Me: 'Excuse me?????? DID HE PASS *almost shouted*?'
Tester: *looks over the top of his glasses and shoves the test towards us* "yea."

Don't know whether I wanted to scream, faint or strangle the bugger for his attitude. I just looked at Rob (who now had SOME color coming back) and nudged him with my arm. *whispered to him...AWESOME!*

Course all this...then the guy tells us we have to go to another building clear across town to get the rest of the process done (pay and picture). What a system! Mr R and I zip across town just as schools are letting out. We get there and fill out more paperwork. The lady there was sweet and polite. He stood for the mugshot...he looked like he wanted to eat someone....we took another picture...he grinned. Now we wait....picture permit comes in the mail (when?). *shrugs* But we have a piece of paper says he's an official LEARNER!

All in all....I have worries...I have fears. But without a Drivers permit here where we live his job options will be minimal. I think he can do it....only time will tell.

Mr R is very proud....so am I!!!!!

Off to the next step...call the drivers ed company and get him signed up for some ROAD time. YIKES! *should I start getting anxious....again?*

~DES~

The Evil OCD monster moved in...

We've always had a bit of it going on here...but as my youngest moved into Puberty this summer....it has reared it's ugly head tenfold. I personally distinguish the OCD behaviors vs the 'quirks' of his Autism by the thought that these are even more difficult to shake off (or redirect). Take the above picture...for some reason...these had to be lined up by color, balls matching and in order of the color on the pole (wicket?) Now, how functional this made choosing your color...but do MOST ppl need this? No...and it became a 'sore spot' when it came to the activity itself. His 'peers' like to play the game 'off the record'....NOT him...by the book only.

Since September we've started some meds with him to help with the OCD, anxiety and some of the ADD problems. This past year is the first time he's ever been on meds......I just felt it was time. Parts of his life were out of control...ie....staying up till after 2am 'thinking thoughts'. Mr M admitted to his Dr that 'there isn't ONE minute my mind is quiet'. How sad....how maddening that must be for someone.

Mr R has started a job. Bagging groceries at a local market. Well....I thought this was going ok......but just recently learned there are problems. He's now on a 2 week 'trial' to see if he can pick up the pace...and keep his job. I had RISE (a company helping disabled individuals in the job field) go with him to discuss this with his boss (this is how I found out there is a problem). Mr R doesn't discuss it...he tells me everything is just 'fine'. Today he admitted that his OCD is causing issues. The way they want them to bag....and the way things come down the belt are 2 different stories. He keeps going over in his mind the 'training video' they watch about the PERFECT BAG.....he gets stuck and starts unpacking and repacking the bags (much to the delay and dismay of the customers). *sighs* He's got 2 weeks to improve his technique.

Still haven't gotten to the DMV to get his permit. Time is flying by with no slow downs. Am hoping next week to get him in there so he can take some over the road lessons with the company that provided the course.

Well...I'm done with Physical therapy....I've resigned my position at the Nursing home. I'm officially unemployed. *nother big sigh* I have to find a job that doesn't require such repetitive lifting...and within the hours I can manage (with the boys needs involved). Right now, that would be like 8:30am to about 2:30pm. No luck so far....called 3 different places that had ads.....all wanted evening hours. NO can do!

I've also 'given in' and went for PCA services for Mr M....he needs alot of cares (due to severe sensory issues) and my back is just not up for it by evening most days. We'll see how it goes....I hate having staff in my home. I've been doing this crap for over 19 years now (my eldest had staff at age 3).

On a positive note...Mr R is doing very well with his classes this year. Beings he's a Senior....I'm real proud of his keeping up with his studies. Mr M is struggling a bit....but much better than last year (he's half reg ed, half spec ed this year). Math seems to be his...tough subject this year. Its a matter of pace...not the math itself. But I'm hopeful!

Autumn has arrived....quite soggy too! The mentioned on the weather that we broke a Century old record for August, Sept, Oct rainfall. The record was back in 1900...and we surpassed it last night. Oh well...if the pond fills up...we'll try ice skating this year!

Again...I'm still catching up with all my webstuff...and friends. Hope to get to everyone's blogs soon!

DES

Ok...shame shame!

**photo is of Mr M learning to skip rocks in our pond just before leaving in June for vacation...the pond is almost gone due to the severe drought here***


I looked on the last post made here and said, "OH tsk tsk!" Summer has a way of getting lost....and so does my brain. I've had lots to do this summer....and like others am feeling summer has slipped away.





Things we DID do...





Took the Princes in a car (rental) and drove back East (home!) to see Grandma! (been over 7 years since we left the east) They were amazing on this lil 'jaunt'! With all the changes, new faces and diversity....they held up famously. I was concerned for a bit over Mr M's eating (which changed drastically)...but he began eating again regularly when we arrived home in July. HOME.....has a whole new meaning when you are away from it, doesn't it?

Mr R has started Drivers ED....*gulp*





Since that time...we've had some 'guests' staying at our homestead. This is suppose to be temporary until they get back on their feet.....which I suppose has no timeline? *sighs* It's difficult....I miss my privacy even though they are not 'staying' in the house but on the property. Kids have been tested with a visit from our guests 'children'.....social skills were out the window! Those extra kiddos just left a week ago *TG* Mr M and Mr R are now enjoying some peace.





Health issues....Not been feeling well lately due to back problems that started just after I got home from vacation. To me, this makes NO sense. To drive over 3200 miles, sleep on different mattresses and not have back issues until you return? GO FIGURE! Its nagging, painful but most annoying (cause I can't do what I NEED to do). Going for an MRI today....open one (cause I'm a big chicken!). LOL!





Hoping to be able to sit for more than 10 minutes without pain soon.......then I can spend more time updating (and wasting time on the internet!) :P





ttfn,





DES

Taking time out...Mom style

Taking a bit of time this weekend to catch a few deep breaths. Both of the boys are away for the weekend at Respite. You know, I never used respite services until about 2 years ago.....and I've found such a better balance since we've started. Part of it was...I didn't think 'anyone' could take care of my boys the way I do (super mom theory). You throw in there 2 guys who adore their 'home' space...and you know it won't be easy at first. Mr M was more accepting than Mr R at first.....just the opposite of what I thought it was going to be. I interviewed many many places before deciding on seperate homes. Mr R's provider is a lady who does daycare during the week.......but she has a similar personality to mine (kinda goofy and light hearted). She also has 2 teens of her own....which made me feel it was a good fit for Mr R (17). Mr M is staying with another lady who has a few younger kids of her own AND drives a Special Ed Bus for a local district. Another fantastic light hearted lady. These ppl don't find what my kids do 'shocking'...and they are always telling me how much they enjoy my guys coming to visit. Both of the boys will come refreshed and ready to get back to basics on Sunday. Am hoping my energy will renew....and my head will be clear of clutter (iep's, meetings, dr appts, work...and future stuff).

So as I sit here in blissful silence.....I think this weekend will do me some good. Not feeling all that strong lately. Energy levels are down and I'm running that short order on 'patience' with ppl (other than my own, of course). Not taking any shifts this weekend either...don't think the Nursing home would appreciate my brassy attitude! :)

Will spend some time enjoying the splendor of Spring we have now....the picture is of one of our wild plum trees back in the woods. One loan flowered tree amongst the pines and oaks. Somehow it fits my mood today.

~DES~

Water is our Friend!

A recent discussion with a school Psychologist has reminded me that summer is fast approaching...which means time for swimming.

The topic came up at Mr M's (14) IEP meeting. He asked about Mr M's recent announcement to teachers and friends...."I NEVER wash my hands!". Of course he does....it's just not a 'desired' activity. I told him he needs to read Mr M's sensory profile to understand the scale of his sensory difficulties. The man said, 'well...he can't have a sensory issue with water if he can go to "insert friends name" pool and swim!'

I found year after year we go through a 'transition' of sorts every summer. His respite provider has a pool and so do some of his special friends. Every year Mr M is difficult about the water issues. It's not as much about getting in any more....but more about getting out! He goes into sensory overload when his skin feels 'dry or wrinkly' after being in water. Lotion must be readily available and he needs to be wrapped tightly in a blanket or towel until his system adjusts.

Bathing is pretty much the same....he still takes tub baths due to the fact that he thinks the showers 'sting'. As soon as he gets out...I towel dry quickly avoiding his hands at all costs. Handfuls of lotion gently massaged into his hands and he usually heads to his room to wrap up in his micro-suede quilt.

Neither of the boys do well with the hygiene issues....still working on these!

My thoughts come back to the pool and how he loves the pool (after a few sessions in the beginning of summer). I'm assuming this is because its a preferred activity? Even though we have complaints after it...he still enjoys it. Handwashing is done...but is not voluntary. Again...lotion must be ready to follow.

School was wondering if they can work on goals for handwashing....my advice...not without an OT input and careful planning. These kids have alot of issues at school to deal with (social navigation, bullies, food, academics etc). I'm not against this idea, but just cautious on how it is approached.

btw...when he did ceramics in art...he put plastic bags over his hands to mold his 'vase'. It's a real interesting peice! LOL! He said, "I wasn't going to touch that stuff!"

anyone share some insight on how to deal with sensory issues and water?

~DES~